Dating in college sounds fun in theory. You’re surrounded by people your age, you’re technically an adult, and everyone swears this is the time to “meet new people.” But the reality is much more complicated.
Between classes, campus jobs, deadlines that sneak up on you, as well as the general stress of trying to keep your life somewhat together, figuring out a relationship feels like fitting a whole extra class into your schedule, except this one doesn’t come with a syllabus. People aren’t necessarily avoiding dating; everyone is just stretched thin. When someone says, “This week is crazy,” you honestly can’t tell if they mean they have three exams or they simply don’t feel like leaving their apartment. Somehow, both feel equally believable.
A Campus That’s Way Too Small
One of the most chaotic parts of college dating is how small campus starts to feel once you catch feelings for someone. You can’t pull off the classic “let’s just ignore each other” strategy because the universe (or campus layout) refuses to let you. You will run into them at the worst possible times; in sweatpants, half-asleep, or while you’re just straight having an off day. Especially if things didn’t end well, now the dining hall becomes an obstacle course of avoiding eye contact. It’s hard to be casual about dating when every walk to class is a potential run-in.
When the Talking Stage Becomes Its Own Personality
For some reason, college has turned the “talking stage” into a whole era. It lingers. It drags. It gets so long you start to forget how it even started. You can be texting someone every day, hanging out on weekends, and still have absolutely no clue what you are to each other. The reason is simple: nobody wants to be the one who brings it up. Asking “What is this?” feels too vulnerable, even though half your friends are already referring to them as your almost-something. Both people might like each other, but both are also scared to look like they’re doing too much. So the whole thing sits in limbo.
Communication That’s Clear… Until It Isn’t
College communication is a strange mix of honest, dry, vague, overly casual, and occasionally deep at the worst times. You can have someone sending you long paragraphs one day and one-word answers the next. A “hey” at 1 p.m. feels normal. A “hey” at 1 a.m. feels like another conversation entirely. Nobody’s trying to be confusing; we’re all just balancing stress, emotions, and a million open tabs in our brains. But the inconsistency definitely makes it harder to understand where things stand.
So What’s the Real Reason It’s Hard?
Because everyone is still figuring themselves out. College is full of people trying to manage friendships, careers, independence, and major life changes all at once. Dating adds another layer to that, and not everyone feels ready, even if they want it.
But here’s the part that actually makes sense: the confusion is normal. No one has dating in college fully figured out, no matter how confident they look. Whether you’re navigating situationships, almost-relationships, or the occasional “wait, are we actually dating?” moment, most of us are learning as we go.
A Little Advice for Your Sanity
Honestly, If your situationship is draining, confusing, or making you feel like you’re somehow not enough, it might be time to just let it go, at least for now. Life is way too short to shrink yourself for someone who can’t even text you back with basic clarity. College is only a tiny slice of the full life you’re going to live. There’s a whole world waiting for you outside of campus, outside of dorm drama, and definitely outside of one emotionally unavailable person who can’t decide what they want. You have future career paths, friendships, opportunities, and experiences that will matter so much more than whether someone eventually sends “you’re the one.” You don’t need that text to prove your worth. You already have it. Dating in college isn’t smooth or simple; it’s real, messy, and sometimes surprisingly meaningful. And if it feels complicated, that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It probably just means you’re human.