When we leave our parents’ house and come to a university, living under our own rules, we think that everything will be fun and games and that we’ll have the time of our lives. It is indeed like that until the roommate shows their true self, and their true self doesn’t align with what you were expecting. That’s when all the problems start.
A month ago, when I moved into my apartment at West Campus with my current roommates, we talked about what each one of us expected from our new household environment, how we would address daily things/problems and established some rules – so everyone could feel comfortable and at home in the shared apartment. As a junior and transfer student, this is my first time living with roommates – up until this point I lived with my family and commuted to my old university, so this was all new territory for me. For my roommates, however, who have been sharing dorms and apartments since their freshman year, this was the something normal and they had some interesting – and stressful, stories to tell about their former roommates. The best/most annoying one for them was the “cat girl” story.
In a previous year, two of my roommates – who have been sharing rooms and apartments for a while now, had a third roommate who had a cat as a support animal. The problem with that was: she never took care of the cat. According to my roommates, the girl often forgot to feed the cat, and she was never around to actually care for it or let it care and be there for her. They said that because she was never around, the cat’s litter box was always dirty – and because cats are typically clean animals, the cat didn’t want to use the box until it was cleaned, resulting on the animal releasing itself in other places and surfaces, such as couches and carpets, making the entire apartment smell and feel dirty.
Furthermore, they said that she used to cook and use all kitchen utensils, but she never cleaned them: they would stay in the sink for days, to the point that mold would start appearing in the said dishes and it would add a distinct smell to the already stinky house.
The truth is: we all come from different households. We come from different families, cultures and backgrounds, and we deal with things differently. Having a clean apartment for me might not mean the same thing for you. For me, having dishes put away and an empty sink means that the kitchen is organized and clean. But for others, it’s fine to have dishes in the sink for a few days, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the kitchen is dirty. The same goes for how often the bathrooms, cat’s litter boxes, and the living room should be cleaned and how organized the house, apartment or dorm is. It’s all relative. However, regardless of our personal belief of what the word “clean” means to us, we must remember that we now live with other people that are not our parents, and it’s not their responsibility to do things for us – like our parents would do. It’s not their responsibility to remind us to clean up our mess or to do it for us. And they shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable in a place that is now theirs too. We should all use our common sense and keep things as tidy as possible for the sake of a good and peaceful environment.
Of course, not always that’s possible and issues and differences between lifestyles will come up. When done so, the best way to deal with and approach the situation, is to openly – and respectfully, talk to your roommates about what is bothering you and how that issue could possibly be solved. Communication is the best approach!
Dealing with other people and our differences will not always be easy. The solution is not always obvious. In my roommates’ case: they moved out. But that won’t always be the case. Most times talking to them will do it. Patience and communication is key!