With May quickly approaching, I’ve found myself and my friends becoming increasingly aware of the upcoming G-Day (as we’ve nicknamed it), otherwise known as Graduation.
When college begins, you know it is going to end. For four years, you hear professors and classmates profess to take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way, encourage you to be fully engaged in class, but most of all, they remind you that college goes by incredibly fast. For four years, you will sit and politely laugh, and say “I know”, all while laughing in the back of your head that four years is a long time.
I’m unfortunately here to tell you that it’s not.
When I arrived to SUNY Cortland, I was the only person from my high school attending the school. This is relatively uncommon for Cortland; most people know at least one person, or have someone that knows someone. I was the exception-I had to start completely new. At 17, I should have been much more nervous than I was. Now, looking back on it, I couldn’t be more grateful that I wasn’t scared at all.
For those of us currently graduating, we had just begun college when COVID forced us all home. I promised myself then that I would never skip another class, or say no to going out, or deny myself a single outing to Footies Freez ever again. While I may not have completely held up my end of the bargain, I learned then just how much I loved being in this town.
For one of my final articles this semester, I wanted to address the students that are not graduating seniors. I wanted to share the bits of advice that I have learned along the way, that have led me to undergo the last four years and come out the other side stronger, smarter and a little bit funnier.
Call your mom and say thank you. It doesn’t exactly have to be your mom, but you are a compilation of those who love you and they have all played a part in getting you to Cortland. They once listened to you as you asked questions like “why does the ocean have waves?” or “why can we eat salad but not grass?” and they did their best to answer you. Someone told you that you could do it, when there was absolutely no indication of it being possible. You need to thank them, because they were right.
You cannot carry all things. Catch and release is applicable to life, not just fishing. I wish someone would have told me how important that was when I needed it, so now I’m telling you. We only have so much space to devote to the things in our lives and it can get cluttered quickly. All of the grudges, all of the pain you may feel simply take up room. If we don’t leave room for the things in life that make us feel light and happy, we are simply going to weigh ourselves down with things that make us feel bad. You cannot soar to the highest of your potential if you are clinging to the things that weigh you down. We chose what we want to keep and what we want to release-choose wisely.
Stop. Rushing. Your best paper did not get written at 11pm the night before it was due. I know this because I myself have written many a paper at 11pm the night before it was due. But this isn’t about a paper. It is in fact advice that a professor here once gave me. I was on track to graduate early and decided to stay my last semester on campus instead of at home. When weighing my options, this professor of mine turned to me and asked “What’s the rush to go home?”. This conversation sparked a deeper train of thought in my head. I wanted to start big girl life and have a big girl job before my peers did so that if I failed, I would still be on track.
I chose to stay at Cortland for my last semester, take some classes and see what life was like with way too much free time. I cannot even begin to articulate how grateful I am to have done so. I finally began to understand what my professor meant when she asked me what the rush was. If I woke up tomorrow and had that full time job that I wanted so badly six months ago, I would be completely overwhelmed and probably incredibly lonely. I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to have grown and transformed as a person throughout the process of creating that life for myself. I would have skipped over fundamental changes by trying to be an adult too fast. You can’t take shortcuts- the process is the becoming of you.
Nobody knows what they’re doing. Anybody who says they do is lying. It is easy to believe that everyone around you knows what they’re doing, but the reality is that nobody does (not even our professors or parents). Growth is not linear and there is no checklist of ways to have a perfect life. We are all just trying our hardest to do well at what we think we should be doing. You were given a moral compass and a set of values to lead your life by; when you find yourself falling short, go back to them. Start from square one. There is absolutely no shame in it because I guarantee you everyone has done it at one point or another. If you are lucky enough to find something that you enjoy, run after it and don’t let it go.
You will never get this time back.
Read that again.
It hurts to hear (and hurts even more to type) but it’s true. You only get to do this once and you are lucky enough to do it in Cortland. Why are you so scared? Stop being paralyzed by the idea of what other people may think of you. Stop swallowing your words and (I cannot emphasis this enough) stop caring what other people think. Say what you want and mean what you say. Blast your music as loud as you want and dance with your roommate(s) until you’re all sweaty and can’t breathe. Go for a drive at midnight, get McDonald’s and sit in the middle of campus and eat it. Try everything you said you would. Stop waiting for the weekend. If you take no risks you will have no story. There is no re-do button.
When fighting with my parents to stay at school, my father posed the question “What are you going back to that you haven’t already done?” I hear his line of reasoning, paying rent and tuition isn’t cheap. I realized, when he asked this, that I had checked off my bucket list from senior year of high school “Things I Have to do Before I Graduate” some time ago. It was that moment that made me realize that I, like many of my classmates, are ready for the next step. I could not be more grateful for my time here at SUNY Cortland and all that it has taught me. I’m lucky to be able to look back on my time here with friends with little to no regrets. I have learned, laughed and changed a lot and I can guarantee that you will too. Savor every minute of it.