Our parents taught us kindness, treating one another with respect, and supporting those around us. What happened?
I typically like to lay low, focus on my own self, and most importantly- mind my business.
While doing my best to not be judgemental, I acknowledge that I am not perfect. Gossip is all around and sometimes it is easier to let inner thoughts out. Sometimes, minding my business is easier said than done.
Why? It’s easier to talk about other people than it is to talk about yourself. Whether it’s for reassurance, to be the most interesting, know the most people or for status, it sometimes feels simpler to fix other people’s problems.
I know that our generation is the first to grow up with social media. We were the first to be exposed to such oversharing and normalization of gossip and judging. It has led to cancel culture, the rise of projection of one’s problems onto others, and self-esteem issues. We opened up the opportunity for everyone to have an opinion- then express them online.
I, for one, have opinions about everything. I like being listened to. I know that social media has brought forth opportunities for people to speak their mind that they never had before. Social media has even helped lend exposure to mass social movements. But how much is too much?
With growing up, comes the scary realization: everything that our parents said to us as kids is true.
Treat others the way you’d like to be treated.
Everything is not always as it seems.
Mind your own business.
“Mind your own business” sounds harsh, but I think what it actually means is just focus on yourself. It is accepting the responsibility of your own thoughts and actions and at the same time letting other people take responsibility of their own.
Minding your business does not mean neglecting to set boundaries. It does not mean to not check in on your friends, or not to ask questions. It does not mean that you accept or enable others destructive behavior. We are human beings, all trying to get through the days and we are going to rely on each other for support.
Minding your own business just means knowing when to separate yourself from another person’s situation.
It is accepting others as they are. It is listening without judgment, criticizing, or trying to “fix” a person. It is accepting the fact that you could have just given your best friend a golden ticket away from their problem, and they may not take it. Minding your own business is to be supportive regardless.
Minding your business means taking responsibility for you. No one can make you do or feel anything; you always have a choice.
You have a choice to stay in a toxic relationship, so you cannot blame your poor mental health on your toxic partner. You have to accept that if you consistently act like a narcissistic jerk, your friends might not stay your friends anymore. You absolutely have free will but, just like our parents told us, every action has a consequence.
You cannot control anyone except yourself. The only thing that we can actually control is ourselves. For most of us, minding our own business does not come easy. It is a skill that comes with practice. When we practice focusing on ourselves and staying in our own lanes, our own problems will start to solve themselves.
Everyone carries weight, it is wonderful if you are willing to carry some of another’s load, but it is imperative that you realize that it is not your weight. When we are so focused on other people’s baggage, it is hard to recognize our own.
So mind your business, make sure all your own ducks are in a row, and call your parents to thank them for raising you to be kind.